Uncle Cephas cannot hold back his love of low doggerel. Here are a few shared with my history students. Enjoy.
The Neanderthal lived in a cave,
And used cold glacial melt for a lave.
He wore both hide and hair
Of the Ice Age cave bear,
And never did bother to shave.
Julius Caesar said, "Gaul,
Inhabited by warriors tall,
Can be broke into three
By a fellow like me,
If my legions and chariots I call!"
Niccolo said it is right
For princes to lie, scheme, and fight.
But this sneaky slob
Couldn't hold down his job,
Which is why he was forced to go write.
Said old Thomas Hobbes with a snort,
"All human lives of the sort
Quite unfettered by kings
Are miserable things,
Being nasty, brutish, and short."
In France, Baron de Montesquieu
Had a wonderful politic view.
In the space of two days,
He split power three ways.
I think it's amazing, don't you?
Rousseau, the great libertarian,
Celebrated the noble barbarian.
Based on science abysmal,
He thought society dismal,
And made politics contractarian.
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Here's mine, via Ambrose Bierce a hero of mine:
ReplyDelete'Resolved that we will post,' the tradesmen say,
'All names of debtors who do never pay.'
'Whose shall be first?' inquires the ready scribe
'Who are the chiefs of the marauding tribe?'
Lo! high Parnassus, lifting from the plain,
Upon his hoary peak, a noble fane!
Within that temple all the names are scrolled
Of village bards upon a slab of gold;
To that bad eminence, my friend, aspire,
And copy thou the Roll of Fame, entire.
Yet not to total shame those names devote,
But add in mercy this explaining note:
'These cheat because the law makes theft a crime,
And they obey all laws but laws of rhyme.'